Unfamiliar Territory…

I knocked on the door and waited… the house was quiet, it’s late. I heard your footsteps as you made your way to the door. Then the muffled sounds of your irritation as the locks started to turn. “What are you doing here,” you demand… slow and angry.  “I told you I was on my way…” I say as I breeze past you into the house.  “I told you not to come,” you growl… angry… and low. Without looking at you I take off my jacket and begin removing items from the bag I brought with me. “And I told you I would come” I whisper back. I don’t look at you yet; because I know what I’ll find there… anger… pain… resentment. I also know most of it… is not for me.

I make my way over to the kitchen sink and begin cleaning shrimp. You stand there watching me… tension rolling off of you in heated waves. I choose to ignore you as I wash a few veggies then begin the task of chopping… making preparations for what I’ve brought you. I can feel your eyes drilling holes into the back of my neck… and we stay this way for a time. Finally turning away mumbling under your breath about ‘crazy azz women’ you open the fridge and reach for a beer. I wipe my hands on a dish towel and come up behind you. As you close the door I wrap my arms around your waist, press myself against your back and whisper, “I’ll always come for you.”

You hold your body rigid in my embrace and I rest my head against your shoulder, lace my fingers together and hold you tighter. “I’ll always come for you,” I whisper again and feel some of the tension leave your body. You reach over and put your beer down. Sighing you slowly remove my hands from around your waist. “I told you I was ok…” you say before turning to face me… and we look at each other, two lovers in unfamiliar territory, your eyes tired and stressed, mine concerned and probing. “I just had a bad day,” you whisper looking away from me.

I reach up and cradle your face. Using my thumbs I smooth down your eyebrows, lean forward and press a kiss to your forehead. “I know love… go back to what you were doing. I’ll make you something to eat, then if you want me to go… I’ll go. I just need to make sure my Baby eats something yummy first.” I rub my lips into your skin again then step back. We eye each other warily. You reach for your beer and I turn back to chopping. I feel your eyes on my back, as I finish deveining the shrimp, move this… reach for that… put things away and stir up others. I’m making you Creamy Spinach Rice and Sautéed Shrimp Creole, some quick comfort food.

I can only guess at your thoughts as I remember our earlier phone conversation … the sound of your anger hurt my heart… but the pain just beneath the surface… that’s what made me come, regardless of what you had to say about it. “Where did you find shrimp this time of night” you ask. Hmmm my babe sounds incredulous, grinning I watch as the rice bubbles… “For you? Oh Daddy I have my ways…” I start laying the shrimp mixture out in the pan… stirring slow … methodical… jumping a little as you wrap your arms around my waist. You rest your chin over my shoulder peering into the pan as I stir… I grab another spoon for the rice… “Ok…” I say turning in your embrace… “Go sit down, I’m almost done.” We eye each other warily, two lovers in unfamiliar territory… you’re still not sure if you should be angry at me or not. I’m still not sure my concern is welcome. Shaking your head you step back and head for the couch.

Humming to myself I prepare your plate… grab you a fresh beer then walk slowly over to you. You’re flipping through channels on the TV, a bundle of irritated energy. Reaching for the plate you finish the last of your beer. I take your empty; set the freshly opened bottle down next to you and turn away. You grab my hand and bring it to your lips, “Thank you,” you whisper looking up at me”.  I smile down at you, “You are always welcome Baby.” Then I make my way back to the kitchen. I fix a small plate for myself and nibble while I clean up. When satisfied I head back over to you, just as you take your last bite. Without a word I take the now empty plate from you and head back to the sink. ‘Hmmm… I’m a lost cause… she has me washing dishes’ I think to myself as I wash both plates.

Putting the leftover food away I look around to make sure nothing is out of place. “Come here…” I hesitate; I’m not familiar with this tone in your voice. “Come here,” you say again… and I respond to the demand now in your voice. I walk over to you… now sitting on the bed, and we eye each other warily, two lovers in unfamiliar territory, “Do you still want me to leave?” I ask quietly.  You take my hand and pull me forward, “No… I want you to come here… stay with me” you whisper… I move back on the bed and lay down, reaching out for you. You lay in my arms, resting your head against my heartbeat, and I wrap myself around you. We hold each other tight… I kiss the top of your head… then reach a hand up to rub your temple while the other rubs your back. My fingers trace slow designs through your hair and you drift into quiet slumber in my embrace. “Be at peace love” I whisper softly to you as the rest of the tension finally leaves your body.

 

To My Future Wife…

I’m here when you need me… even when you can’t say so…

 

– Nova