Ex… why?

In the beginning it was friendship… she said I was smart… she said I was beautiful… I’m the one made for making someone very happy. I met her years and years ago. She was sassy… fun… and quick to defend those she cared for…. but we didn’t connect and didn’t agree on anything. She was the one that gave me the good sense to stop trying to conform to the worlds girl loves boy ways… while she drove me insane… she also taught me my capacity for love… the lengths I would go for someone I cared for… and for myself… but it just didn’t work… kind of like trying to catch hold of a rainbow… have you ever tried? Impossible.

Last night it was a phone call… she says she loves me… misses me… She’s the one I’m made for. I met her 3 years ago… She was Gentle… Sweet…Stunning… but we didn’t connect and didn’t agree on anything. She loved me… I loved her… but it just didn’t work… kind of like a fish and bird falling in love. Where would they live?

Last week it was a letter… she says she loves… misses me… she’s the one I’m made for. I met her 9 months ago… she was caring… attentive… ambitious…. but we didn’t connect and didn’t agree on anything. There was love… and there was chaos. Hours and hours of endless arguing… it just didn’t work… kind of like trying to hug a porcupine. Ouchy… not my idea of a good time.

When you look back on your life you realize there are worse things than being unlucky in love worse things than feeling alone even in the presence of the one you want the most. The past ones taught me lessons I knew I needed to learn. The present one taught me to not care so much… go with the flow right? (Shrugs) Maybe the future one will teach me something magic. Who knows? I’m hopeful.

I approach people trusting and hopeful… Everyone else is guarded and secretive… Hmmm it’s a new day… so I think I’ll change my approach… trust is earned after all… and hope… well… I’ll walk with faith instead… in myself…and whatever I’m meant for. There may be adoration… appreciation… and respect. I like her… she likes me… but when it just doesn’t seem to work… it’s kind of like trying to breathe under water… struggling at first… then everything fades to black… and before you even realize it… you’re drowning.

My friends say never make someone a priority when you are only an option…

Let’s be real… the world has only a handful of priorities while the options are limitless.

Me? I’m a priority, just maybe not to you… understood.