Author: Admin

I read people, and books… learned lessons in class… and on the street…
I’m educated daily by family, by friends, and yes… even perfect strangers…

I wear contact lenses, green… gray… purple… and sometimes blue…
I’ll rock a weave, some hair extensions and I’ve had streaks of fire and streaks of gold …

My hips are wide, bootie high and round, breasts tight and perky… definitely nothing anywhere near a size 2…

I’m multifaceted… not two faced… just strong willed and curious…

Old fashioned and conservative…
Wild and carefree…

A willful exhibitionist that is painfully shy…
I have the heart of an Angel… and the tongue of a Demon…

I’m stubborn… irrational…
Crazy… Sexy… and… Amazing…

My mind is sharp… quick… curious and quirky…

My eyes are brown, not chocolate… but deep, clear whiskey bottle brown, nothing exotic… just 100% me.

My hair is all natural… kinky curls, Afro poof… and jet black…

My body is Rubenesque… thick… solid… curvy… with thighs that go on… for days…

When I’m feeling vulnerable I can’t look directly at you.

I hate to cry… because when I do…
It’s a river that flows… nonstop until my head hurts… my eyes ache… and my body is spent. Sometimes it takes me hours to recover. My tears come from my spirit… from my heart.

My form of expression is in my look, it’s in my speech, and it’s in my action…
A direct reflection of the way my mind works… the rhythm my heart beats and the course my spirit is taking.

I’m a shape shifter… a chameleon… the object of your secret fantasies… and your recurring nightmares.

By all means…
Judge this book by its cover.

–    Nova

This morning I opened my eyes, and you weren’t next to me. The palm of my hand reached out for you, but you weren’t there. I hugged your pillow close and took in a long deep breath, holding onto your scent, “time to start the day”. I got out of bed and walked slowly out of the room with thoughts of coffee on my mind and you in my heart, then like a sudden storm I heard it, the sound of running water.

The bathroom is a small space, made even smaller still by the steam from the heat of your shower. I watch your silhouette under the steady pulse of water and decide to step in behind you. I take in the sight of your body all hard lines and control… wet and shining, your hair hanging in small heavy ropes around your face and back. I press a kiss between your shoulder blades and wrap my arms around you, pressing my breasts flush against you, resting my lips against your neck, and we stand that way for a time… quiet, breathless, our hearts beating in unison.

I step back and pour shower gel into the palm of my hand and rub it into a lather, as you stand before me… one hand braced against the wall, water sliding down your body. I knead into your tight muscles, applying pressure with my thumbs. You moan softly and lean into my touch, my fingers skimming over your skin, sliding slowly down your shoulders, backside, then over your legs and back up and around your waist. Embracing you and rubbing my cheek against your skin, again pressing my lips into your neck as my hands slide onto your stomach and up over your chest, pausing to slowly roll your nipples gently between my fingers. As the water from the shower washes my efforts away, you sigh.

My hands slide down between your thighs rubbing the head of your arousal with one while I wrapping my fingers around you with the other, sliding my thumb back and forth across the top and then up and down over that most sensitive area just beneath the head. Damn… you feel like pulsing heated steel. You groan and shift away from my touch, breaking my embrace as you turn around and face me. Our eyes lock as you entwine both your hands with mine and lean in to kiss me… long, sweet and … deep.

I pull away from you to trail kisses over your collar bone, following the flow of the water over your skin. I slide my hands down your sides as I take first one nipple into my mouth sucking on it gently, rubbing my lips over your skin toward the other… scraping it lightly with my teeth, then licking it again to sooth away the small sting. I drop to my knees before you… laying kisses across your stomach and against your thighs.

I feel your body tense under my lips as the rhythm of your breath changes. I dip my head to slide the weight of one ball onto my tongue, rubbing it gently before massaging it lightly with my lips. As I shift to repeat the action with the other weight your shaft bounces and strains before me… begging for attention. I lick my way up slowly up from the base to the tip, pressing an open-mouthed kiss against the soft mushroom… tasting a drop of the beginnings of your seed. As my lips wrap around you, I savor that special flavor of your essence, flicking my tongue quickly over the head making your body shiver in anticipation. I slide my lips down your manhood, enjoying the pulse of you against the back of my throat… sliding up and then back down again… once, twice, three, four. I lose count as my body gives itself over to pleasing you… my nipples hard, moist heat pooled between my thighs as a growl of pleasure escapes you… the sound heavy and low. 

Your hands grip my head as I pull back just enough to tease the head, rubbing my tongue over it again and then sucking you down with deep slow strokes, as the length of you jumps between my lips. My heart is racing because… mmm baby, you taste so… good. Your hips buck against me as I flick my tongue over you, milking you, my hand cupping your balls as I take you in deep. I feel the telltale tightening of your body against me… the erratic rhythm of you inside of my mouth and then I am flooded with the flow of your seed.

You grip my head tightly holding it in place as you moan guttural and harsh, riding wave after wave of a long and hard orgasm. I drink you in deep as you shudder, your pleasure filling me, and I’m cumming as I savor the last drops from you. As I pop you out of my mouth I rub my tongue against your head, against the opening… coaxing out the last drops of your release. Your body twitches then slowly relaxes, your hands releasing their hold on me as I lay my head against your thigh, catching my breath and willing my heartbeat to slow down. “Babe” you say, your voice thick and husky. I look up at you, this love of mine and you pull me up wrapping your arms around my waist.

You hug me tightly against you and we stay like that for a time, calming. I shift to look up a you, stretch up on my tip toes and take your beautiful face between my hands. I press a long soft kiss to your forehead, then whisper… “Good morning Daddy”.

– Nova

This morning I opened my eyes and you weren’t next to me. The palm of my hand reached out and you weren’t there. I hugged your pillow close and took a long deep breath, holding in your scent, “time to start the day”. I got out of bed and walked slowly out of the room with thoughts of coffee on my mind and you in my heart and then I heard it, the sound of running water.

The bathroom is a small space, made smaller still by the steam from the heat of your shower. I watch the outline of your body stand under the steady pulse of water. As I step in behind you I take in the sight of your body, wet and shining, your hair hanging in small heavy ropes around your face. I press a kiss between your shoulder blades wrapping my arms around you, pressing my breasts against your back, resting my lips against your neck, and we stand that way for a time… quiet, breathless, our hearts beating in unison.

I step back and pour shower gel into the palm of my hand and rub it into lather, as you stand before me… one hand braced against the wall, water sliding down your body. I rub the lather into your tight muscles, applying pressure with my thumbs. You moan softly and lean into my touch.
My fingers skim over your skin, sliding slowly down your backside, your legs and around your waist. I embrace you and rub my cheek against your back, again pressing my lips against your neck as my hands rub lather onto your stomach and up over your breasts. I cup them lightly, rolling your nipples gently between my fingers. As the rushing water washes my efforts away, you sigh.

My hand slides down between your thighs rubbing your clit, and I slide a finger inside of you. Damn… you are liquid heat. You groan and move away from my touch, breaking my embrace as you turn around and face me. Our eyes lock as you entwine both your hands with mine and lean in to kiss me… long, sweet and … deep.

I pull away from you to trail kisses over your collar bone, following the flow of the heated water on your skin. I rub my hands down your sides as I take first one nipple into my mouth sucking on it gently, then the other scraping it lightly with my teeth, then licking it again to sooth away the small sting. I drop to my knees before you… laying kisses across your stomach, laying kisses against your thighs.

I feel your body tense under my lips as the rhythm of your breath changes. I lick my way between your thighs… coaxing them to part for me. At the first sweep of my tongue I savor that special flavor of your essence, I flick my tongue quickly over your clit and your body shivers. I burrow my lips deeply against your flesh, sliding my tongue up and then down over your clit, then plunge it deep inside your pussy.

Your hands grip my head as I pull back just enough to take your clit into my mouth and suck on it with deep slow strokes, then quickly as I slip a finger deep inside of you. Mmm… you taste so good babe. Your hips push forward against me as I roll my tongue around your pearl, rubbing my finger against your g spot. I feel the tell tale tightening of your walls around me as I become drenched from a different flow.

You grip my head tightly holding it in place as you moan long and deep riding the wave after wave of a long and hard orgasm. I withdraw my finger only to replace it with my tongue as I drink in your juices. Your body slowly relaxes, and your hands release their hold on me as I lay my head against your thigh, catching my breath and willing my heartbeat to slow down. “Babe” you say, your voice thick and husky. I rise before you, and you wrap your arms around my waist.

I take your beautiful face between my hands and place a long kiss on your forehead, and whisper… “Good morning Daddy”.

– Nova

I find myself in a constant rotation of motion… I think… I react… I burn brighter than any flame…
I spent too much time on men who I never mattered to… trying to live up to everyone else’s expectations of what a ‘Good Little Haitian Girl’ is supposed to grow up to be.

Quiet… submissive… house keeper… baby maker… did I say Quiet… Submissive?

I grew up in a world where the ‘funny uncle’ was the perpetual ‘uninvited’, and when he was required to make an appearance he was the object of everyone’s scorn… the butt of the jokes… the great big elephant in the room.
LESBIAN? What is that?
There weren’t any… to be clear… there AREN’T any.

I find myself in a constant rotation of motion… I think… I react… I burn brighter than any flame…
I spent too much time on men who never mattered to me… trying to live up to my expectations of what I wanted this ‘Good Little Haitian Girl’ to be.

Creative… resourceful… lover… mother… did I say Creative… Resourceful?

I made a life for myself comprised of close ties to my mother…my sister… my niece… I loved and was loved by straight friends dated men that ranged from ‘good on paper’ to ‘wildly inappropriate’…
And when the time came for naked contact in the dark… I closed my eyes and thought…

“Milk… eggs… broccoli… Cocoa Pebbles”
“I wonder if I took the trash out”
“Have to remember to clean the litter box tomorrow”
“Geeze… is he DONE yet”

LESBIAN? What is that?
There weren’t any… to be clear… there AREN’T any.

I finally spent some time on women who I didn’t matter to… trying to live up to everyone else’s expectations of what a ‘Newly minted Lezbo’ was supposed to be.

Confused… bisexual… wild… promiscuous… did I say Confused… Bisexual?

I laid the foundation for a new life… one filled with girls and intimacy… connections… and yes FINALLY orgasms. I started to accept the possibility that MAYBE men… just were not for me. I admitted that I actually had not dated… had sex with… or thought about any man since the first time I got naked with a woman.

LESBIAN? What is that?
There weren’t any… to be clear… there was one now.

I find myself in a constant rotation of motion… I think… I react… I burn brighter than any flame…
I spent too much time on women who never mattered to me… trying to live up to my expectations of what I wanted this ‘Lesbian’ to be.
Soft… submissive… feminine… without opinion… did I say Soft… Submissive?

I make no apologies… I accept my past and the woman it’s made me today. Sure I lived for a few years with my ‘Old School’ Haitian mother opening up every convo with “Are you still doing THAT?” and I listened to random people give me ‘advice’ about not giving up on men and “you just haven’t had the right d*ck”.

Seriously??? I’m not a Ferris wheel… everyone does not get a ride.

My friends… and family love me… so that sums it up for them.
As for mom… I sat her down and candidly explained that my best experience with a man…
Mentally… emotionally… physically… (and let’s be honest) sexually… was NOWHERE near better than my WORST experience with a woman.
And my beautiful mothers answer??? “WOOOOOOOOW…. that’s harsh” (lmao sorry still sends me into fits of giggles). It has never come up again… and while I’m smart enough to know she doesn’t approve… and it’s not the life she would have chosen for me… she accepts it… because I’m hers.

LESBIAN? What is that?
A Gem among Gems… to be clear… that’s me… that’s all of us.

I find myself in a constant rotation of motion… I think… I react… I burn brighter than any flame…
I embrace the life I live… I acknowledge that I’m hand crafted… custom made for ‘Her’… whoever ‘She’ may be. We’ll find our way to each other when we are meant to. In the meantime I bust my azz daily to deserve her because I know that she is ‘everything’ and she deserves ‘everything’.

Smart… honest… lover… partner… did I say Smart… Honest?

Our future children will grow up in a world where the ‘funny relatives’ are the ones with the jokes, and we will make our appearance as ‘family’ remaining steadfast in our loyalty and regard for one another…

There will always be someone ‘disapproving’… there will always be ridicule and let’s be honest… we’ll probably still be the great big elephant in the room… but without struggle and self acceptance there can never be progress.

LESBIAN? What is that?
Me… and I don’t mind telling you… I’m pretty f*ckin AWESOME.

– Nova

I want a life in addition to the one that I’ve been given… one that I’ve fought for… one that feels lived in…

I want my heart to beat a rhythm that is music… to the ears of my loved ones… a tune that is sooo sick…

I want my mind to be moved to think thoughts that break barriers… because wisdom’s the weapon of true born warriors.

I want my spirit to fly places I never thought I could go… it’s the promise of tomorrows… tomorrow that give me hope.

I need the life that I live to have direction, to have a purpose… so when I take my last breath I’ll know it was worth it.

I need a love that will love me without pause, without measure… a wife by my side to honor and treasure.

I need my mind to be enthralled, to be cultivated… by a woman that can educate me, adore me, and keep me motivated.

I need my soul to tell a tale far and wide one heard by everyone… because it is your face I will see when I give birth to our son.

I want a life where it doesn’t matter that I love women… in a world that’s forgiving… in a world where it’s no sin.

I want my heart to play a tune… to sing a solo… because you are my music… and I am your radio.

I want my mind to dream… dreams that come to fruition… it’s the strength of our thoughts that are the best ammunition.

I want my spirit to speak directly to yours… you’re the reason I was made, you’re the one I’m handcrafted for.

I need to live like no one else has lived… for the ones who came before us… they changed the world and paved the way… therefore I must.

I need a love that will give… just as I give… forever and without ending… we are committed, stable, and solid that’s the message we are sending.

I need a mind that is open, a mind that is strong… without it I can’t fight the bigotry, can’t point out it’s wrong.

I need my soul to ‘man up’ to gather you round and pass on this memo… whether you’re Transgender, Lesbian, Gay, Bi or just plain Homo…

We matter.

– Nova

You keep calling… keep texting… expecting me to change my mind. You say you miss me, thought you’d found someone better. There was a time when you were important to me. Days when you were my first thought at waking and my last before sleep. Nights when you made my body feel some very random… very exquisite things.

I cooked for you… hugged you close… listened to you… made you feel some very random… very exquisite things.

There are days, weeks, months… when you don’t take a trip through my thoughts at all. You see… you stopped being important to me the day you decided you wanted someone else. You thought you could put me on a shelf and I would wait there for you. I’ll invest in a stock pile of Battery Operated Lovers and some reliable Plug in Friends before I will let someone else that I do not matter to… visit my secret center.

I cooked when you were hungry… because my Lover deserves to be fed. I hugged you close when you needed the contact… because my Friend deserves the attention. I listened to you vent when you needed the outlet… and made your body feel my version of some very random… and very exquisite things because my partner… deserves the respect. She deserves the devotion.

You decided you weren’t any of those things. Didn’t you get the memo?

You keep calling… keep texting… expecting me to change my mind. You say you miss me. You thought you’d found someone better. You ask if I miss you. We had entertaining conversations, nothing enlightening. Your sex was great but you never touched me mentally. My heart called out to yours with no answer forthcoming. I spent our time making sure YOU felt protected, making sure YOU felt safe… it didn’t occur to you I needed the same. I enjoy sharing with a woman, and that’s not what we did. When we were together I found myself doing the things you enjoyed to do, going to the places you wanted to be, talking about the things that you found interesting. My choice, but not one I have any intention of repeating. You wanted to wear the pants all the time but in truth you were never fit to wear my panties.

So please explain to me… what exactly is there to miss?

The one I need has strength at her core, not just her body… but in her mind… in her spirit… in her heart. These days I cum from a carefully crafted sentence… my heart beats faster from a witty conversation and my body sings a tune to which I’m completely unfamiliar… but find I’m totally infatuated with.

You keep calling… keep texting… expecting me to change my mind. You say you miss me. You thought you’d found someone better.

So call her…. text her… I’m sure she’s waiting.

Me?

I’ve outgrown you.

– Nova

I’ve recently encountered some nonsense very specific to some younger ladies who are unaware of how the world works, their self worth and think they are entitled to say and do as they please. I had to take a minute to compose myself and get my mind right for what I wanted to say, had to remember my mama raised a lady and there is little to nothing in this world worth losing my religion over or stepping outside of my character.

So it is with this in mind that I speak to you the way my gran would speak to you, for she was a loving spirit, wise beyond measure and the originator of ‘keepin it real’.

Little girl… I need you to take a moment for yourself to sit down and listen. All this ‘queen bee’ and ‘I’m a boss’ stuff means nothing when you have accomplished nothing. See me? I don’t sleep in my mama’s house. I don’t eat my father’s food. The money in my pocket I earned… LEGALLY at that little thing called a J.O.B. Bank account? Credit cards? Yes, I have those too… right along with my rent payment and the BILLS that I pay because they’re required to maintain MY household. I’m grown.

Little girl… contrary to your beliefs the world does not revolve around you. Though you may think this to be true… your problems are not more important than anyone else’s. Everyone has drama and baggage. We all have hurts that are hidden and some that are not so hidden, battle scars, trauma, damn girl it’s called LIFE. Every piece of hurt is intended to shape who you are. The key is to learn from our experiences… not to let them consume you.

Little girl… I was raised in an old school West Indian family. We were taught to have that elusive something called MANNERS. Say ‘excuse me’ when you’ve done something, ‘please’ when you want something, and ‘thank you’ when someone has done something for YOU. When you walk down the street you are not just representing yourself. You represent your entire family, your friends and your mate. Honor thy mother and father… I’m sure you’ve heard it… has it ever occurred to you that the attitude and disgraceful way you carry yourself makes people question where and how you were raised? Stop stomping through life like a bull in a china shop, because when you act like a barn animal rest assured the world will treat you like one.

Little girl… get over yourself. If someone expresses concern for your well being… be grateful. If someone gives you praise… be humble. When a person asks you ‘how are you’ give them an answer… and for God’s sake if someone tells you ‘I want to help’ or ‘I’m worried’ say a prayer of thanks because there are too many people in this life with no one to look out for them and too many others with no one to care. Walk in their shoes for a day and figure out that even though you may be wrapped up in your moment… someone took time out of THEIR day to think about YOU. That is not a right… it’s a f*cking privilege… treat it as such.

Little girl…. stop believing the lies bitter women, little boys and old fools tell you. Laying on your back is not a life skill. Please understand that. Save your life, cook a meal sometime. Nourish your soul and feed someone else once in a while. You are not a woman because you bleed once a month, and pushing out babies doesn’t do it either. You are woman when you learn to put the needs of others before your own, when you can sacrifice a little bit of something for yourself now in order to have alot of something for the people you care about later, and when you finally grasp the concept that tomorrow is not promised to you. Your beauty is not encompassed by a ‘tight weave’, or ‘flawless makeup’ or even a ‘bangin body’. Your beauty is encompassed by your actions, how you treat others, the love in your heart and the strength of your spirit. A woman is not measured by what lies between her thighs… but what rests between her ears.

Little girl… I’m going to say this just one time. Stay out of grown folks business… mind your own… and have some respect for yourself… because until you do… no one else will.

– Nova

I was sitting in a cafe on my lunch break listening to three men discuss a lesbian couple sitting at another table. They were going on and on about how ‘sexy’ the Femm was and how they could ‘give it to her real good’ and how ‘she doesn’t know what she’s missing’ and ‘she just aint had the right d*ck’ … blah blah blah. The interesting thing was their reaction to the AG, and I’m quoting here, “What the hell is that suppossed to be?” (this amidst alot of crotch grabbing and chuckles), “She can dress like a man but she aint never gonna have no d*ck”. They weren’t whispering so pretty much anyone in proximity could here them.

So I sat there nibbling on my lunch and paying quiet attention to the couple and the three idiot azzholes watching them while snickering like the simple children they were. I watched the AG pay the bill, get up… pull out her ladies chair and hand her… her purse. (They way she moved and the bit of the nostril flare let me know she was heated) I watched this play out, the Femm (obviously heated as well) took her purse, pushed in her chair and turned to face her partner. She stood up on her tippie toes and kissed her right in the middle of the cafe. (And this was a toe curler) Oddly enough this shut the men right up. When she broke this kiss she wrapped her arms around her AG’s neck pressed her forehead against hers and announced to the cafe at large. “I love you babe, you give me all the d*ck I need, let’s go home an f*ck”. Of course jaws dropped, the waitress laughed and the 3 idiot azzholes looked dazed and confused. LMFAO…

Now considering both the Femm and AG were beautiful people, this got me to thinking about the difference in the idiot azzholes perception of them.

I’m guessing we can all agree that straight men like the ‘idea’ of Femm lesbians, and fantasize about them while having some major issues with Studs/Doms/AGs.

A Femm is considered a challenge…
1. She has p*ssy.
2. She likes p*ssy.
3. Just the idea of 2 p*ssies in the same room is usually too much for most men to handle.
4. Oh and don’t forget they think they can get the p*ssy.

STUDs/DOMs/AGs are a threat.
1. Men like p*ssy.
2. Men want p*ssy.
3. WOMEN have the p*ssy.
4. STUDs/DOMs/AGs have inside knowledge of p*ssy.
5. STUDs/DOMs/AGs know what to do with p*ssy.
6. STUDs/DOMs/AGs have the nerve to not only HAVE p*ssy but to also GET p*ssy.

Obviously this drives them crazy.

There are sooooo many blogs and posts and comments about being single and not finding ‘the right one’ and being ‘tired of this single ish’. I’m seeing Studs lament over the lack of Femms and Femms b*tch about the lack of Studs. WTH?

Here is what I have learned everyone has a ‘list’ in the back of their head describing the qualities they would like in a potential partner. The key words here ladies are ‘WOULD LIKE’ and ‘POTENTIAL’. Obviously no one is perfect. Soooo… what is the problem? Compromise is a wonderful thing! It is our flaws that help make us beautiful and sometimes… the things we are NOT looking for are the things we actually NEED!

If the Studs are walking around looking for a Femm they want and the Femms are walking around looking for a Stud they want, if so many of us are serious and looking… then why are so many of us single?