Random
Bobby…
One of my most favorite songs EVER..
Written by; Reba McEntire and Don Schlitz
Bobby pleaded guilty to the charges that they read
As they led him from the courtroom, a young voice turned his head
A little boy, dressed in blue, was standing at the rail
He said "i hope they kill you, I hope you go to hell"
They put bobby in a jail with forty other men
They all knew what he had done, they were glad to take him in
They’d all seen the headlines about bobby and his wife
How they loved each other, and how he took her life
Day after day, he sat alone
Night after night, they’d hear him sing his song (he’d sing)
Chorus:
Baby, I’ll take care of you, I’ll never let you down
No harm will ever come to you as long as I’m around
I am not afraid of what people say or do
The only thing I fear is being here...without you
The little boy dressed up in blue grew up to be a man
When he fell in love himself, he came to understand
How it was that bobby took the life they both adored
Cause bobby couldn’t stand to see her suffer anymore
He took out the papers from the trunk beneath his bed
And all the years just disappeared as through his tears he read
The stories of the accident that robbed his mama’s mind
And the man who held her in his arms and chose to cut the line
And the one about the man who sits alone
Year after year, singing his song (he’d sing)
Repeat chorus:
The young man drove his car up, and parked outside the gate
They led him to a cold gray room, the guard told him to wait
When the gaurd brought bobby in, the young man finally knew
He still missed his mama, but he’d missed his daddy too
And when the guard left the two of them alone
He took bobby in his arms, and the young man sang the song
Daddy, I’ll take care of you, I’ll never let you down
No harm will ever come to you as long as I’m around
You have taught me not to fear what people say or do
The only thing I fear is being here...without youCover…
I read people, and books… learned lessons in class… and on the street…
I’m educated daily by family, by friends, and yes… even perfect strangers…
I wear contact lenses, green… gray… purple… and sometimes blue…
I’ll rock a weave, some hair extensions and I’ve had streaks of fire and streaks of gold …
My hips are wide, bootie high and round, breasts tight and perky… definitely nothing anywhere near a size 2…
I’m multifaceted… not two faced… just strong willed and curious…
Old fashioned and conservative…
Wild and carefree…
A willful exhibitionist that is painfully shy…
I have the heart of an Angel… and the tongue of a Demon…
I’m stubborn… irrational…
Crazy… Sexy… and… Amazing…
My mind is sharp… quick… curious and quirky…
My eyes are brown, not chocolate… but deep, clear whiskey bottle brown, nothing exotic… just 100% me.
My hair is all natural… kinky curls, Afro poof… and jet black…
My body is Rubenesque… thick… solid… curvy… with thighs that go on… for days…
When I’m feeling vulnerable I can’t look directly at you.
I hate to cry… because when I do…
It’s a river that flows… nonstop until my head hurts… my eyes ache… and my body is spent. Sometimes it takes me hours to recover. My tears come from my spirit… from my heart.
My form of expression is in my look, it’s in my speech, and it’s in my action…
A direct reflection of the way my mind works… the rhythm my heart beats and the course my spirit is taking.
I’m a shape shifter… a chameleon… the object of your secret fantasies… and your recurring nightmares.
By all means…
Judge this book by its cover.
– Nova
Why are so many of us single?
There are sooooo many blogs and posts and comments about being single and not finding ‘the right one’ and being ‘tired of this single ish’. I’m seeing Studs lament over the lack of Femms and Femms b*tch about the lack of Studs. WTH?
Here is what I have learned everyone has a ‘list’ in the back of their head describing the qualities they would like in a potential partner. The key words here ladies are ‘WOULD LIKE’ and ‘POTENTIAL’. Obviously no one is perfect. Soooo… what is the problem? Compromise is a wonderful thing! It is our flaws that help make us beautiful and sometimes… the things we are NOT looking for are the things we actually NEED!
If the Studs are walking around looking for a Femm they want and the Femms are walking around looking for a Stud they want, if so many of us are serious and looking… then why are so many of us single?
The Benefit
So I’ve spent alot of hours listening to other peoples problems, days being the reliable one, and years taking care of the people I care about.
I’ve been loved, I have loved and I’ve been in love. Just when I think I’m close to figuring women out they remind me, I have no idea. I do know that caring about someone has nothing to do with yourself and everything to do with them. Being attentive, supportive and judgment free goes along way with friends and lovers.
I try my best not to leave when I care about someone, try to make things work, try to find understanding even when the situation is past the point of being understood. I’ve been left behind, starting with Daddy, working my way through friends and then lovers. I understand that everyone gets left behind at some point. I admit that I have been the one to leave at times.
Understanding…. now I have a major problem with the concept. At my core I believe understanding is love, so I’ve tried to understand. Truthfully? I don’t get it. I don’t understand most of the people in my life. I have no clue what motivates them, and freely admit that they are an ever changing mystery to me.
Respect is a foreign concept to many. How many people can honestly say they respect the people in their lives? The kind of respect that is awe inspiring? Motivates you to try new things? To work harder? Respect that just makes you want to wake up each day a better person than you were the day before.
And honesty??? Wow. Its a GREAT idea… when its put into practice. It starts with you. Explaining yourself, proving yourself, respecting yourself, admitting when you are wrong, being dissapointed in yourself and taking steps to change it. You can’t give anyone something you can’t give yourself.
I try too hard, I care too much, I love too hard, and I want great things for the people I care about. It would be so easy to just toe the line and be like everyone else. Unfortunately…. I’d rather be me.
– Nova
The Apology Letter
To the Family that’s gone;
I’m sorry for those of you that passed without being able to say goodbye, I’m sorry so many of you have lost so much this year. I’m sorry my choices may disappoint you, I’m sorry I look so much like my mama some of you can’t look at me, I’m sorry I have my daddy’s “I don’t give a f*ck” attitude, and I’m sorry water is thicker than our blood. I’m sorry so many of you are loose in the bootie, I’m sorry you expect a lot of something when you give a lot of nothing., I’m sorry I gave you so many chances but most of all I’m sorry we can’t CHOOSE family.
To the Friends that came and went;
I’m sorry I couldn’t make those impossible things to happen for you, I’m sorry that my support in YOU was less important to you than my support in your WALLET. I’m sorry that you’re so worried about being prettier than me, I’m sorry I don’t think your girl is hot, I’m sorry your girl thinks I’m hot. I’m sorry that taking time to get to know each other was less important to you than spending time at the club. I’m sorry you felt the need to compete, (I don’t compete), I’m sorry if I made you feel insecure, and while I’m not sorry I met you I am sorry I wasted so much time on you.
To the Lovers that weren’t meant to be;
I’m sorry we are ‘exes’, I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough for you, I’m sorry I wasn’t what you wanted, I’m sorry I cared enough to be afraid for you when you weren’t smart enough to be afraid for yourself, I’m sorry I tried so hard, I’m sorry I thought having a roof over your head and food in your tummy was more important than having movie tickets and fancy clothes. I’m sorry my azz was too big for you, I’m sorry you were too young for me, I’m sorry I wanted you to fulfill your dreams, I’m sorry I think rent is more important than a weekend ‘ski trip’, I’m sorry I think the electric bill is more important than the cable bill. I’m sorry I hurt you, but most importantly I’m sorry I gave you the power to hurt me.
To the Readers;
Family is more about how you treat each other than who you share DNA with. Friends are CHOSEN family. Lovers are the answer to the question your heart has been asking.
I’m sorry for all of your hurts and I’m sorry for mine. I’m sorry it’s those hurts that make us stronger, I’m sorry disappointments make us better, I’m sorry failure makes us try harder, I’m sorry it helps to shape who we are and I’m sorry we will do it all over again.
Love Always…
Nova
Never So Deep…
When I met you my heart sang an expectant song…
A simple melody that played… all day long.
When we talked, I thought clouds left the sky…
There was sunshine again… and I thought I knew why.
When I touched you I imagined my breath picked up its pace…
Looking for that pulsing throb waiting for my heart to race.
When I kissed you it was easy for me to ignore…
The Soul God made for me is rich in all things, while you… were emotionally poor.
Judging by your cover, when I met you I chose to overlook…
There were only burned pages… inside of your book.
Two souls going in different directions…
One embracing in chaos… the other in need of protection
When we talked, reality settled…
It was over before it started… every day… a battle.
You made me doubt myself, and feel I was no good…
I don’t know why I expected better from a kid whose life is the hood.
When we touched… we both pulled back…
Was it a lack of interest… or a lack of respect?
I am glad I met you; I will always remember your face.
Ladies; Never give your heart to someone who has decided their life is a waste.
When I kissed you, when I tried to connect…
I knew you were someone… I’d rather forget.
My heart was willing, ready to love, eager for a new start…
I did not understand and was unprepared for my lack of heart.
You were a tortured soul… having been through hell and back,
Years of drama, hate and deceit make for a spirit… painted black.
You choose to mistreat the ones willing to help you stand tall…
And now I watch as the people you embrace… let you fall.
It has been said if you sleep with dogs you catch fleas…
I crawled through the mud and was surprised I had dirt… all over me.
They say certain life lessons are not learned until you hit rock bottom.
I say you are my darkest hour, my biggest mistake…
And my worst decision …
Before I met you… bottom had never been so deep.
For Shade
– Nova
